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I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki  Cover Image Book Book

I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki

Sehee, Baek (author.). Hur, Anton, (translator.).

Summary: "The South Korean runaway bestseller, debut author Baek Se-Hee's intimate therapy memoir, pitched as Crying in H Mart meets Maybe You Should Talk to Someone for millennials and zoomers. PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I don't know, I'm--what's the word--depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Se-Hee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her--what to call it?--depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; in fact, she seems to be in a constant state of "self-surveillance," adept at performing the calmness, even ease, that keep her outward life running smoothly. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. She must be mentally ill. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favorite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Facing her own mind and heart proves difficult, but Baek finds documenting the process helpful and grounding--a way to hold onto insights that can otherwise slip away into negative thinking. Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair."--Provided by the publisher.

Record details

  • ISBN: 9781635579383
  • Physical Description: xi, 192 pages ; 22 cm
    regular print
  • Publisher: New York : Bloomsbury Publishing, 2022.
Subject: Sehee, Baek -- Mental health
Sehee, Baek -- Psychology
Self-help techniques
Self-actualization (Psychology)
Depression, Mental -- Treatment
Genre: Self-help publications.
Autobiographies.

Available copies

  • 4 of 4 copies available at BC Interlibrary Connect. (Show)
  • 1 of 1 copy available at Grand Forks and District Public Library.

Holds

  • 0 current holds with 4 total copies.
Show Only Available Copies
Location Call Number / Copy Notes Barcode Shelving Location Holdable? Status Due Date
Grand Forks BIO 158.1 BAE (Text) 35142002764594 Biography Volume hold Available -

  • Booklist Reviews : Booklist Reviews 2022 October #1
    The cover boasts a recommendation from global phenom BTS's leader RM. The PR materials tout its "runaway best-seller" status in its native South Korea, where mental illness remains stigmatized in a country with one of the world's highest suicide rates. As a twentysomething social media director in publishing, Baek "seem[ed] totally fine on the outside but [was] rotting on the inside." Diagnosed with dysthymia—"a state of constant, light ­depression"—Baek sought therapy. She distills her experiences into 12 chapters of transcribed sessions with her psychiatrist, augmented with reflections and revelations about her damaging relationships with family, lovers, colleagues, friends, her impossible standards of beauty, her judgmental self-esteem. Near book's end, her psychiatrist adds an affecting chapter about "ordinary, incomplete" people. Tteokbokki, by the way, is a Korean comfort food comprised of rice cakes and hot sauce. With candor and humor, Baek offers readers and herself resonant moments of empathy: "my hope is for people to read this book and think, I wasn't the only person who felt like this." Originally published in 2018, this arrives in the U.S. sensitively English-enabled by favored translator Hur. Copyright 2022 Booklist Reviews.
  • Kirkus Reviews : Kirkus Reviews 2022 July #1
    A South Korean author recounts her long journey through anxiety and depression. Tteokbokki is a popular Korean dish of bland rice cakes immersed in a spicy pepper sauce. The duality is a good metaphor for this book, a bestseller in South Korea. Baek has dysthymia, a low-level but persistent depression. The narrative is primarily a collection of the author's discussions with her therapist, punctuated with short essays leavened by the poignancy of self-reflection and occasional flashes of humor. Though issues involving mental health continue to be stigmatized, Baek is clear in her belief that her story could help those in similar circumstances. "I wonder about those like me, who seem totally fine on the outside but are rotting on the inside," she writes, "where the rot is this vague state of being not-fine and not-devastated at the same time." While the author realizes that many of her problems stem from a painful family background, she also examines the pressure on Korean women to conform to an idealized image. She worries constantly about her appearance and what other people think about her, a mindset that plagues many Korean women. Some of the author's discussions relate directly to Korean culture, but much of it transcends borders and will resonate with readers around the world. As she gradually worked through the therapy process, Baek learned how to avoid the emotional roller coaster that comes with dysthymia and how to avoid constantly judging herself and others. Though the act of living always comes with ups and downs, it's important to keep them in context and seek an appropriate balance. Baek acknowledges that she might never be entirely free of her dysthymia, but she can manage it, live with it, and understand it as part of her being. At once personal and universal, this book is about finding a path to awareness, understanding, and wisdom. Copyright Kirkus 2022 Kirkus/BPI Communications. All rights reserved.
  • Library Journal Reviews : LJ Reviews 2022 June

    In A Coastline Is an Immeasurable Thing, poet Daniel parses multiple identities and diverse family roots as she recounts her journey from Nigeria to England to the United States (75,000-copy first printing). The breakout star of Girls Trip and the first Black female stand-up comedian to host Saturday Night Live, Haddish proclaims I Curse You with Joy in offering an essay collection that ranges from her viral head-shaving video on Instagram to reconnecting with a father she hadn't seen for years (225,000-copy first printing). In Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, Friends star Perry goes all out to discuss his struggle with addiction while offering backstage anecdotes about the mega-hit sitcom (one-million—copy first printing). Flying high as social media director at a publishing house, Sehee still felt anxious and exhausted—"I don't know, I'm—what's the word—depressed?"—and records her conversations with her therapist in I Want To Die but I Want To Eat Tteokbokki, a huge best seller in South Korea (75,000-copy first printing). Winner of the Hurston/Wright Crossover Award, Shakur's When They Tell You To Be Good unfolds the coming of age of a queer, Jamaican American freelance journalist/essayist who relates the impact of his family's emigration, the murder of his biological father, the willing-out of deep family secrets, and his own radicalization. Joining a rising tide of new titles examining workplace discontent, Private Equity recounts Chinese immigrant Sun's rapid disillusionment with the Wall Street investment job she landed after graduating from MIT and her breakaway to find a better life (65,000-copy first printing). As recounted in Lost to the World, Taseer was kidnapped in 2011 shortly after the assassination of his father, the governor of the Indian state of Punjab, and held for over four years by the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan, a Taliban-affiliated Uzbek terrorist group horrified that he had spoken in defense of a Christian woman accused of blasphemy.

    Copyright 2022 Library Journal.
  • Library Journal Reviews : LJ Reviews 2022 August

    Sehee, a successful professional in the publishing industry, grew up in Korea with an abusive father and a hypercritical mother. Internalizing their behavior, she questioned and criticized herself to the point of depression and severe anxiety. The depression is disruptive but not so debilitating that she does not still want her favorite foods, such as tteokbokki, a spicy rice cake popular in Korean cuisine. After initiating therapy with a psychiatrist, the author began to record her sessions, and the bulk of this book consists of transcriptions of their discussions about her depression and pervasive self-criticism. Sehee is honest and authentic throughout, beginning each chapter with a brief essay that introduces a topic she wants to discuss with the psychiatrist and concluding with an essay reflecting on what she learned from the session. Chapters address topics such as honesty, self-surveillance, self-esteem, medication, physical attractiveness, and more. VERDICT This is a sincere attempt at self-discovery that will resonate with young people who suffer from similar forms of depression and anxiety.—Rebecca Mugridge

    Copyright 2022 Library Journal.
  • LJ Express Reviews : LJ Express Reviews

    In A Coastline Is an Immeasurable Thing, poet Daniel parses multiple identities and diverse family roots as she recounts her journey from Nigeria to England to the United States (75,000-copy first printing). The breakout star of Girls Trip and the first Black female stand-up comedian to host Saturday Night Live, Haddish proclaims I Curse You with Joy in offering an essay collection that ranges from her viral head-shaving video on Instagram to reconnecting with a father she hadn't seen for years (225,000-copy first printing). In Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, Friends star Perry goes all out to discuss his struggle with addiction while offering backstage anecdotes about the mega-hit sitcom (one-million—copy first printing). Flying high as social media director at a publishing house, Sehee still felt anxious and exhausted—"I don't know, I'm—what's the word—depressed?"—and records her conversations with her therapist in I Want To Die but I Want To Eat Tteokbokki, a huge best seller in South Korea (75,000-copy first printing). Winner of the Hurston/Wright Crossover Award, Shakur's When They Tell You To Be Good unfolds the coming of age of a queer, Jamaican American freelance journalist/essayist who relates the impact of his family's emigration, the murder of his biological father, the willing-out of deep family secrets, and his own radicalization. Joining a rising tide of new titles examining workplace discontent, Private Equity recounts Chinese immigrant Sun's rapid disillusionment with the Wall Street investment job she landed after graduating from MIT and her breakaway to find a better life (65,000-copy first printing). As recounted in Lost to the World, Taseer was kidnapped in 2011 shortly after the assassination of his father, the governor of the Indian state of Punjab, and held for over four years by the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan, a Taliban-affiliated Uzbek terrorist group horrified that he had spoken in defense of a Christian woman accused of blasphemy.

    Copyright 2022 LJExpress.
  • Publishers Weekly Reviews : PW Reviews 2022 July #1

    In this candid if stilted debut, South Korean essayist Sehee documents the intensive therapy sessions that led her out of depression and anxiety. She starts from the first appointment she had with her psychiatrist, chronicling her struggles to find a medication that will ease her symptoms as she works, between sessions, to apply what she's learning, challenging herself to be more socially engaged with others, whether it be through attending a movie club or negotiating difficult disagreements with friends. Though heartfelt, the forced neatness of Sehee's diaristic installments feels unnatural when juxtaposed with the complicated interior life that she and her psychiatrist trawl for meaning. Sehee's emotional recollections of growing up in an abusive household, struggling with self image, and turning to books as she learns to embrace solitude lose their potential poignancy when reconstructed in dialogue with her therapist: "ME: I'm also obsessive about my looks. There was a time I would never leave the house without make-up.... PSYCHIATRIST: It's not your looks themselves that generate your obsessiveness." As a result, profound subjects like the stigma of suicide are lost in the weeds of the monotonous stretches that surround references to them. Sehee's mission to normalize conversation about mental illness is an admirable one, but this memoir fails to animate that goal. (Nov.)

    Copyright 2022 Publishers Weekly.
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