I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki

Summary: "The South Korean runaway bestseller, debut author Baek Se-Hee's intimate therapy memoir, pitched as Crying in H Mart meets Maybe You Should Talk to Someone for millennials and zoomers. PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I don't know, I'm--what's the word--depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Se-Hee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her--what to call it?--depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; in fact, she seems to be in a constant state of "self-surveillance," adept at performing the calmness, even ease, that keep her outward life running smoothly. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. She must be mentally ill. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favorite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Facing her own mind and heart proves difficult, but Baek finds documenting the process helpful and grounding--a way to hold onto insights that can otherwise slip away into negative thinking. Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair."--Provided by the publisher.